Military Executes Tom Hanks

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Actor Tom Hanks has left the earth, put to death by a military tribunal that found him guilty of pedophilia and child endangerment.

On June 12, the U.S. military apprehended Hanks after a plane he had chartered in Greece, where he holds dual citizenship, landed at Malpensa Airport in Milan, Italy, where Hanks had been scheduled to attend a foreign film festival.

U.S. military sources told RRN that members of the 173rd Airborne Combat Brigade and INTERPOL were awaiting Hanks’ arrival when the Learjet 75 reached the airport apron. Weapons drawn, they boarded the plane and found Hanks seated beside longtime friend Peter Scolari, who in 1980 starred alongside Hanks in the TV sitcom Bosom Buddies, in which the duo portrayed transvestites living in an all-female college dormitory. Hanks would later say it was his favorite role, and that wearing women’s clothes made him feel more manly.

The military released Scolari but shackled and promptly ushered Hanks aboard a waiting C-130, which had to be refueled twice inflight to reach Diego Garcia, where the Office of Military Commissions has built a penitentiary near its B2 bomber base.  Upon landing, Hanks was placed in a holding cell to await his military tribunal.

Ten days later, Hanks had his day in court, with the U.S. Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps presenting proof connecting Hanks to a child trafficking ring that, the military alleged, had worked in the shadows for 30 years. It presented into evidence many electronic devices—laptops and cellphones—that held photographs and videos of Hanks engaged in sexual intercourse with male children who were obviously below the age of consent.

Other videos showed Hanks involved in adrenochrome parties, gatherings at which the liberal elite and Hollywood A-listers comingle and inject into themselves an ungodly chemical compound made of oxidized adrenaline, which is extracted from frightened and tortured children, and synthetic opiates. Those who partake in the luciferian ritual believe the compound prevents illness, extends life, and enhances sexual prowess.

One video showed Hanks and songstress Lady GaGa injecting each other while an unseen child’s screams, the wailing sound of death, echoed in the background.

The military’s case was built on 50 video clips and 2,000 images, sources told RRN.

The 3-officer panel, however, found the content so disturbing that it reached a verdict of guilty after watching four snippets.

Hanks, when asked if he had anything to say in his defense, showed no remorse for his crimes and told the tribunal that adult-child intercourse was “natural” and that he proudly supported NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association, a pedophilia and pederasty advocacy organization in the United States.

The tribunal declared Hanks receive capital punishment and asked that his sentence be carried out expeditiously.

“My death won’t stop anything; we are everywhere,” Hanks said.

Three days later, Hanks received an injection other than adrenochrome. He was strapped to a gurney and had pancuronium bromide, potassium chloride, and midazolam injected into his veins. If any adrenochrome remained in his blood, it wasn’t potent enough to protect him against lethal injection.

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