Donald J. Trump will spend the last days of his presidency mulling whether his Dept. of Justice can charge Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey and Facebook founder Steve Zuckerberg with sedition and a host of other crimes. Trump’s hatred toward the social media giants soared to new heights Wednesday night after both platforms removed several of his posts and suspended his accounts for twelve hours.

The move came shortly after Trump gently encouraged a mob of alleged pro-Trump insurrectionists to abort their siege on the Capitol. Along with the message, Trump posted a video of supporters—all adorned in Trump regalia—marching on Capitol Hill.

Twitter and Facebook claimed Trump’s video, and his refusal to sternly condemn supporters, would incite rather than prevent future violence.

An administration source speaking on condition of anonymity for fear of reprisal told Real Raw News that Trump made a 3:00am phone call to none other than acting Attorney General Jeff Rosen, demanding the AG, who was at home, asleep in bed with his wife, come to the White House immediately. When Rosen arrived twenty minutes later, Trump accused him of malingering, then let loose a verbal tirade, first against the Deep State, then against social media.

“What took you so long, Jeff? Why are you always so slow? You know who did this to me? The Deep State. This is my chair, my desk, and they’re taking it from me,” Trump said, drumming his sausage-like fingers on the polished oak top of the Resolute desk. “I won this bigtime, the likes of which no one has ever seen. But that’s not why I called you. Did you hear what Twitter and Facebook did? They suspended me, Donald J. Trump, president of the United States. I want to indict them for sedition,” Trump finished.

Rosen explained that sedition meant an overt attempt to subvert the constitution or leading a rebellion in hopes of overthrowing an established government, and said he wasn’t sure how exactly he could indict Dorsey and Zuckerberg for those crimes.

In censoring his First Amendment right to free speech, Trump argued, Twitter and Facebook were hindering his ability to communicate effectively with millions of followers whose every action hinged on his latest tweet. Such action, Trump opined, was tantamount to treason, a crime worthy of a lifelong stay at Guantanamo Bay.

“What would you have me do? Rosen reportedly asked.

“If it were up to me, Jeff, I’d have these guys executed, but I don’t know if we can do that. They’re bad actors. You’re the AG, you figure it out. That’s your job, not mine. I want these guys indicted, and you got twelve days to do it,” Trump replied.

If all information is accurate, the president is using his final days to do precisely what he promised: to drain the swamp. He is not only acting on nearly 250,000 sealed indictments, but also waging a final war against media that, in his opinion, have betrayed America and its people.

Correction: Facebook has suspended Trump’s account until “transition of power has been completed,” according to a Facebook representative. (FB, NOTHING BUT LIARS! IT IS NOW 04-21-2022 AND PRESIDENT TRUMP’S ACCOUNT STILL NOT REINSTATED, NOR ON TWITTER! – LM)